Leave Madonna's Hands Alone

Madonna is 58 years old.

She's had eight No. 1 albums, won seven Grammys, raised four children, and paved the way for generations of powerful, outspoken female artists to come.

And yet, all the internet wants to talk about is that very first line.

Because Madonna refuses to "age gracefully" – aka cover up in a muumuu, fade quietly into the background, and abdicate her throne to the younger, wider-eyed popstars chomping at the bit – the world is outraged.

How dare she talk graphically about sex.

How dare she gyrate on stage.

How dare she date men 20 years her junior.

But above all, how dare she subject us to that 58-year-old body.

Take a look at the comments section on any Madonna article, and you'll be greeted with a charming onslaught of vitriol from men and women (yes, a whole lot of women) who are so disgusted by her age and appearance they feel the need to leave public record of their nausea on the internet.

"Madonna your [sic] old and past it, no one wants to see you naked," commented one New South Wales woman on a recent Nine Facebook post. "You were fantastic at one time but trying to hang onto that is just making you look pathetic. Go back to the nursing home where you belong."

Here's the latest photo to send Madonna's critics into a tizzy:

Image: Getty

That's Madonna watching a UFC fight at New York's Madison Square Garden on November 12.

Within hours, sites like the New York Daily News, Daily Mail, and The Telegraph all felt the need to publish pieces noting the "shocking" contrast between Madonna's "fresh face" and "aging hands".

TheDaily Mail actually used the phrase "wrinkled mitts" in their headline.

Madonna has never discussed having cosmetic work done, but the implication is that she can try her hardest to preserve her youthful looks up top but those damn hands tell us all we need to know: She's past her expiry date.

Such pointed sexist ageism isn't limited to females in Hollywood. Women who refuse to shuffle into the traditional roles and wardrobe deemed acceptable for the over-50 set are largely demonised by society. (And those who do conform are often made to feel invisible.)

Here's Madonna and one of her "shocking" hands just two weeks earlier at a London party on October 27:

Image: Getty

Her hand looks fine, but that's beside the point.

Hands are weird. They get veiny when you're dehydrated. They bloat when it's humid out. And yes, they even dare to age.

"Ready to fight Sexism Ageism Racism Homophobia and all other forms of Bigotry and Discrimination," Madonna captioned a November 15 Instagram (unrelated to hand-gate). "Let's Go America. Land of the Free and Home of the Brave!"

Keep fighting, Madge. And keep waving those perfectly human hands in our faces until we learn to love them.

PS. Here's a pic of 55-year-old George Clooney and 72-year-old Michael Douglas embracing. Their hands look like hands, too.